ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role