My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
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surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...