He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.