I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures