Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation