I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits