He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
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She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
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