Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (267)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.

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(267): Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn. http://tfl.nu/zs8h

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So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

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(267): So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail http://tfl.nu/dt1f

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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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(267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn

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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?

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bloody. ill be home soon.

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(215): so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know? (267): bloody. ill be home soon. http://tfl.nu/2ypq

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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".

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(267): Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented". http://tfl.nu/soll

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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem

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(267): I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem http://tfl.nu/6rep

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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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(267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2

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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.

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(267): she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon. http://tfl.nu/y6s2

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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis

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(267): I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis http://tfl.nu/zmb9

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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.

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(267): I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe. http://tfl.nu/k42a

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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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(267): The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon. http://tfl.nu/yrqs

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he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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(267): he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana. http://tfl.nu/oxo3

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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

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Umm you met him three days ago....

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I said what I said

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(267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0

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We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

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(267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1

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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.

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(267): I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/0qfz

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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