he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...