Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (267)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

(856): View more from New Jersey

dear god, who put you in a cab?

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(267): duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19. (856): dear god, who put you in a cab? http://tfl.nu/6o92

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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.

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(267): i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man. http://tfl.nu/8n1a

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(302): View more from Delaware

you goin out tonight?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

who is this.

(302): View more from Delaware

your orgasm for tonight

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(302): you goin out tonight? (267): who is this. (302): your orgasm for tonight http://tfl.nu/bzdn

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Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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(267): Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets http://tfl.nu/behk

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this is not real life

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

it never is. after midnight never counts.

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(267): this is not real life (1-267): it never is. after midnight never counts. http://tfl.nu/o5xm

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We still going to Happy Hour

(201): View more from New Jersey

Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up

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(267): We still going to Happy Hour (201): Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up http://tfl.nu/e38y

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My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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(267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m

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WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE

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(267): WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE http://tfl.nu/lgwx

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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket

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(267): It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket http://tfl.nu/ws2m

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Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

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(267): Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder? http://tfl.nu/3p5i

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that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping

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(267): that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping http://tfl.nu/gh69

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Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays

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(267): Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays http://tfl.nu/fevr

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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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(267): He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man. http://tfl.nu/v6o1

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I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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(267): I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it. http://tfl.nu/g3cm

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Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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(267): Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees. http://tfl.nu/ugpg

Replies (5) Good night (588) Bad night (2038) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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