my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket