one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.