You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
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one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.