I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt