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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
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