She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
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Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest