i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina