Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?