girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am one with the molecules
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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