Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (906)

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?

  (1-906): View more from Michigan

  It's okay.

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  (906): Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay? (1-906): It's okay. http://tfl.nu/i6me
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  If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?

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  (906): If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her? http://tfl.nu/jtlb
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  It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

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  (906): It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again http://tfl.nu/8319
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  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
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  How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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  (906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i
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  Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore

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  (906): Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore http://tfl.nu/jxvu
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  Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here

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  (906): Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here http://tfl.nu/0qbu
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  I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink

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  (906): I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink http://tfl.nu/nyxg
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  I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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  (906): I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up. http://tfl.nu/m243
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  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
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  Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

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  (906): Dude, I think my check liver light just came on http://tfl.nu/539i
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  The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.

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  (906): The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock. http://tfl.nu/nnn9
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  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
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  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

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  so you're not coming in to work today?

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  (231): I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops. (906): so you're not coming in to work today? http://tfl.nu/mm6u
  Replies (13) Good night (1254) Bad night (3924)
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  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
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