Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
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Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today