i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
My ass is underappreciated
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.