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Last Night in Massachusetts (774)

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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"

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It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"

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(774): If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?" (774): It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?" http://tfl.nu/cbil

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How was your weekend?

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The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.

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(774): How was your weekend? (508): The sex was so good. It hurts to exist. http://tfl.nu/pe42

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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.

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(774): I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded. http://tfl.nu/9sgj

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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

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He does that

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(774): Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back! (508): He does that http://tfl.nu/zi1j

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He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

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Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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(774): He likes bondage and spanking and shit. (508): Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that. http://tfl.nu/4784

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the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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(774): the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's http://tfl.nu/a401

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I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed

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(774): I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed http://tfl.nu/b36x

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Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless

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(774): Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless http://tfl.nu/p1o5

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Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

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(774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc

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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.

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(774): I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit. http://tfl.nu/t89l

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I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.

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(774): I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you. http://tfl.nu/ievp

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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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(774): Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18. http://tfl.nu/z1g3

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Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.

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(774): Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep. http://tfl.nu/pcyk

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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick

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(774): Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/t99o

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My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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(774): My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am http://tfl.nu/yrwz

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Last Night in Massachusetts (774)

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