She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
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We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?