He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?