Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (626)

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  (626): View more from California

  Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.

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  (626): Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her. http://tfl.nu/fyts
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  Dignity is for republicans.

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  (626): Dignity is for republicans. http://tfl.nu/vkse
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  The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.

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  (626): The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with. http://tfl.nu/h0cz
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  Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life

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  (626): Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life http://tfl.nu/vx9t
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  a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms

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  (626): a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms http://tfl.nu/zv9q
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  you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay

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  (626): you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay http://tfl.nu/yxo6
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  Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game

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  (626): Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game http://tfl.nu/ygf5
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  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

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  (626): dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing. http://tfl.nu/anwj
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  Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.

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  (626): Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive. http://tfl.nu/gm46
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  you didnt know i had herpes?

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  (626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph
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  He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.

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  (626): He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is. http://tfl.nu/ui1w
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  Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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  (626): Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting. http://tfl.nu/7nt8
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  Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots

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  (626): Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots http://tfl.nu/acn9
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  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
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  Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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  (626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw
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