you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song