and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?