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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
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