I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..