Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i think i have two assholes
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She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
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It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes