Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (330)

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

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  (330): no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce http://tfl.nu/rmcp
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  Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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  (330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y
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  we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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  (330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c
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  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
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  I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.

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  (330): I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing. http://tfl.nu/hw5t
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  what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car

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  (330): what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8812
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  not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?

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  (330): not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up? http://tfl.nu/smja
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  Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy

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  (330): Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy http://tfl.nu/16kg
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  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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  (330): So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night http://tfl.nu/sszo
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  I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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  (330): I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke http://tfl.nu/gn8s
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  I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported

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  (330): I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported http://tfl.nu/ddun
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  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

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  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
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  When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?

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  What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose

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  (330): When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday? (440): What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose http://tfl.nu/ry2v
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  So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.

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  I don't know you.

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  (570): So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas. (330): I don't know you. http://tfl.nu/3wzi
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  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
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