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no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
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