I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you need anything just hit me up
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.