His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Brb crying the tears of my youth
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?