After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you need anything just hit me up
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
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SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.