When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR