Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan