He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
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I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.