Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.