You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.