he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts