that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
