Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?