we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
After last night, I could never be a politician.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.