all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.