I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.