he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do