Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Indiana (765)

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.

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  (765): I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship. http://tfl.nu/nv2q
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  I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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  (765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod
  Replies (9) Good night (1809) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.

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  (765): A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins. http://tfl.nu/d999
  Replies (12) Good night (675) Bad night (2415) Order T-Shirt
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  Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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  (765): Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me. http://tfl.nu/xef4
  Replies (8) Good night (2078) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  She has a lazy eye!

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  My other option is a hardwood floor

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  (765): She has a lazy eye! (317): My other option is a hardwood floor http://tfl.nu/pxwj
  Replies (8) Good night (481) Bad night (1686)
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  On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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  (765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3
  Replies (7) Good night (1914) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

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  (765): Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake. http://tfl.nu/5qrv
  Replies (8) Good night (1714) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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  (765): If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs. http://tfl.nu/un7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1489) Bad night (547)
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  I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.

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  (765): I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in. http://tfl.nu/2iri
  Replies (9) Good night (2304) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.

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  (765): He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26. http://tfl.nu/98vv
  Replies (22) Good night (2135) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.

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  (765): I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro. http://tfl.nu/6pjm
  Replies (10) Good night (3122) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

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  (765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1405) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.

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  (765): I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday. http://tfl.nu/lb5a
  Replies (5) Good night (1839) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.

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  (765): Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence. http://tfl.nu/7p55
  Replies (7) Good night (1546) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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  (765): I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/jw9u
  Replies (17) Good night (719) Bad night (4082) Order T-Shirt