I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.