Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
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yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.