We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
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Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
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walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.