I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be