I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?