FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things