When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
