He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.