My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn