what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.