what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.